Some of you, no doubt, already know the meaning of "paraprosdokians," but I didn't until just a few minutes ago. An email from a friend introduced me to the word. Here's a definition:
PARAPROSDOKIANS - "A figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." Such as, "where there's a will, I want to be in it."
Some paraprosdokians I have heard before include:
- "A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip."
- "You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing—after they have tried everything else." (attributed to Winston Churchill)
- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Others I've never heard before include these:
- We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
- If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
- Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. (The one I'm familiar with is - "Behind every successful man is a surprised mother-in-law!)
- A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
- Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
- I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
- To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
- "Your failure to be informed does not make me a wacko!"
Here are some paraprosdokians with specific attributions: (Wikipedia)
- "If I am reading this graph correctly — I'd be very surprised." —Stephen Colbert[8]
- "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." —Groucho Marx[10]
- "If I could just say a few words... I'd be a better public speaker." —Homer Simpson[11]
- "I sleep eight hours a day and at least ten at night." —Bill Hicks[3]
Fun, aren't they?