From an email:
* Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
* If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
* We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.
* Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
* Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
Update: Then there's this from another email:
Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.
Looking up, he asks the Lord. "God, what does a million years mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A minute."
Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A penny."
Smith asks, "Can I have a penny?"
The Lord replies, "In a minute."